Introduction
When a client sits across from me describing their difficulty trusting others, their fear of abandonment, their pattern of pushing away those who get too close, I hear the language of attachment theory. I also hear something deeper: a soul longing for a relationship that will not fail.
Western psychology has given us powerful tools to understand these patterns. Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, reveals how early caregiver relationships shape our internal working models of love, trust, and safety. Contemporary therapies like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) have demonstrated that these patterns can be transformed through corrective relational experiences.
Yet here is where secular therapy reaches its limit: it can help a client develop "earned secure attachment" through human relationships, but it cannot offer what no human can provide—a relationship with an Attachment Figure who is eternally present, perfectly attuned, and incapable of abandonment.
Islamic spirituality offers attachment to Allah (SWT) as the ultimate secure base. This is not a metaphor borrowed from psychology. The Qur'an and the teachings of the Ahlulbayt (a.s.) established this reality long before Bowlby coined the term "attachment." Contemporary research now corroborates what revelation always taught: that this relationship functions as the primary bond from which all other bonds derive their meaning.
When we help a client repair human attachment wounds while ignoring their primary attachment relationship with their Creator, we are treating branches while neglecting the root.
The Clinical Reality of Attachment Wounds
Contemporary research has established that our earliest relationships create templates for all future bonds. A child whose caregiver is consistently available and responsive develops what Ainsworth termed "secure attachment": a felt sense that relationships are safe, that distress can be soothed, that the world is fundamentally trustworthy.
When caregivers are inconsistent, rejecting, or frightening, the child develops insecure attachment:
- Anxious: hypervigilance to abandonment cues
- Avoidant: suppression of attachment needs
- Disorganized: approach-avoid conflict when the source of safety is also the source of fear
These patterns persist into adulthood. According to Haverkamp and colleagues (2025), attachment patterns formed in childhood continue to shape adult relationships, emotional regulation, and mental health outcomes.
The Limitation of Secular Models
Attachment-based therapies can be profoundly effective. The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a corrective experience: the therapist provides consistent attunement, ruptures are repaired, and the client gradually internalizes a new working model of relationships.
Yet here is the secular limit: no human relationship can provide absolute security. Therapists retire, friends move away, spouses can betray, parents die. Even the most secure human attachment exists within the shadow of impermanence.
This is where Islamic psychology offers something categorically different.
The Theological Foundation: Allah as Ultimate Attachment Figure
Before analyzing how attachment to Allah (SWT) functions psychologically, we must understand what Islamic theology teaches about the divine-human relationship.
Foundational Concepts
Fitrah (الفِطْرَة): Every human being is created with an innate orientation toward Allah (SWT). This is not learned but given; not cultural conditioning but ontological reality. The Qur'an states: "So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. Adhere to the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created all people" (Ar-Rum 30:30).
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" — Qur'an 13:28
Qalb (القَلْب): The spiritual heart is the seat of this attachment. The Arabic root ط-م-ن (tatma'innu) denotes precisely the psychological state attachment theorists describe as "felt security"—the calm that comes from proximity to a reliable attachment figure.
Tawakkul (التوكّل): Trust in Allah (SWT) captures the behavioral manifestation of secure attachment: the capacity to explore the world, face challenges, and tolerate uncertainty because one's security is grounded in an unfailing relationship.
These truths have been known to Muslims for fourteen centuries. What is remarkable is that contemporary psychology, through attachment theory, has independently arrived at a framework that corroborates what revelation always taught: that the human being is created for relationship with the Divine, and that this relationship provides the security no earthly bond can offer.
Contemporary Corroboration
Ghobary Bonab, Miner, and Proctor (2013) examined whether Allah (SWT) functions as an attachment figure in Islamic spirituality. They found that proximity-seeking to Allah (SWT) is central to Islamic devotional life. Muslims turn to Allah (SWT) in distress (safe haven function), draw confidence from His presence to face challenges (secure base function), experience distress when feeling distant from Him (separation protest), and find comfort in His attributes (internal working model).
| Theological Concept | Attachment Parallel | Clinical Implication |
|---|---|---|
| Fitrah (primordial nature) | Innate attachment system | Validates spiritual longing as healthy |
| Dhikr (remembrance) | Proximity-seeking behavior | Can integrate into affect regulation |
| Tawakkul (trust) | Secure base behavior | Supports exploration and risk-taking |
| Du'a (supplication) | Safe haven behavior | Provides coping resource in distress |
Sermon 193: The Muttaqin as Securely Attached
We have seen that attachment to Allah (SWT) is theologically foundational, and that contemporary research corroborates what Islamic tradition has long understood. But what does secure attachment to Allah (SWT) actually look like in practice? For this, I turn to Imam Ali (a.s.).
In Nahj al-Balagha, Sermon 193, Imam Ali (a.s.) delivers the famous Khutba al-Muttaqin (Sermon of the God-Conscious). What he describes is, in clinical terms, a portrait of secure attachment to Allah (SWT).
"They pass the night in fear and rise in the morning in joy; fear lest night is passed in forgetfulness, and joy over the favour and mercy received."
This oscillation between vigilance and joy mirrors secure attachment's emotional regulation. The muttaqin are not anxiously attached (paralyzed by fear of abandonment) nor avoidantly attached (suppressing need for connection). They demonstrate secure attachment through both reverential awe and confident intimacy.
"In the evening anxious to offer thanks, in the morning anxious to remember Allah."
This "holy anxiety" is not pathological worry but productive vigilance—it drives action rather than paralysis.
Saying 4: Submission as Companionship
"Incapability is a catastrophe; endurance is bravery; abstinence is riches; self-restraint is a shield; and the best companion is submission to Allah's will."
Taslim (submission) as "the best companion" frames the divine relationship as the ultimate attachment that never fails. Where human companions may disappoint, this companionship endures.
Three Dimensions of Divine Attachment
Sermon 193 gives us the phenomenology of secure attachment to Allah (SWT). But how does this attachment actually function? I now apply attachment theory's mechanisms to the divine relationship.
1. Allah as Safe Haven: Turning in Distress
When attachment is activated by threat, the securely attached person turns toward their attachment figure for comfort. In Islamic spirituality, this manifests as du'a (supplication), dhikr (remembrance), and tawassul (seeking intercession).
Homan (2014) found that self-compassion mediates the relationship between secure God attachment and reduced anxiety. When believers turn to Allah (SWT) in distress and experience His mercy, they internalize compassion toward themselves.
2. Allah as Secure Base: Confidence to Explore
Secure attachment provides not only comfort in distress but confidence to explore. The child who knows mother is watching from the bench can venture further on the playground.
For the believer, tawakkul provides this secure base. Wongratanamajcha and colleagues (2025) found that attachment to God fully mediated the negative relationship between insecure human attachment and meaning in life. Spiritual attachment compensates for relational wounds.
3. Allah as Internal Working Model: Reshaping Expectations
Developing secure attachment to Allah (SWT) can gradually reshape internal working models. When a believer consistently experiences a relationship characterized by mercy, patience, and faithfulness, new relational expectations form.
The divine names become a counter-narrative: Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful), Al-Wadud (The Most Loving), Al-Halim (The Forbearing), As-Sabur (The Patient).
Clinical Application: When Therapy Meets Theology
With the theological foundation and psychological mechanisms established, the question becomes practical: how do clinicians actually work with this?
Signs That Integration is Therapeutic
- Client spontaneously references faith as a source of comfort
- Spiritual practices correlate with reduced symptoms
- Client expresses desire to integrate faith and therapy
- Theological understanding is developmentally appropriate
- Client can tolerate complexity in their faith
Warning Signs: When Religion Complicates Attachment
- Punitive God image mirrors abusive caregiver
- Religious scrupulosity (obsessive fear of divine punishment)
- Spiritual bypassing (using faith to avoid processing trauma)
- Guilt and shame dominate spiritual experience
- Faith is imposed by others rather than personally meaningful
| Therapeutic Sign | Warning Sign |
|---|---|
| Client finds comfort in prayer | Client fears God will punish for mistakes |
| Faith provides meaning in suffering | Faith is used to avoid feeling pain |
| Client questions and grows | Client rigidly defends, cannot tolerate doubt |
| God image is merciful, patient | God image mirrors abusive caregiver |
An Integration Protocol for Faith-Informed Attachment Work
For clinicians working with Muslim clients who present with attachment-related concerns:
Step 1: Assess Attachment Patterns and Spiritual Resources
Begin with standard attachment assessment (ECR-R, AAI, or clinical interview). Simultaneously explore the client's relationship with Allah (SWT), prayer practices, and God image.
Step 2: Identify Attachment Wounds and Spiritual Parallels
Map the client's insecure attachment patterns onto their spiritual life. Does anxious attachment manifest as desperate pleading followed by despair? Does avoidant attachment show up as intellectual faith without emotional connection?
Step 3: Introduce Attachment-to-God Framework
With appropriate clients, explicitly introduce Allah (SWT) as secure base. "Research shows that our relationship with Allah (SWT) can function like an attachment relationship—a source of security that helps us face challenges and cope with distress."
Step 4: Integrate Spiritual Practices into Treatment
- Include brief dhikr in session as affect regulation
- Assign homework involving contemplation of divine names
- Process spiritual experiences as relational data
- Explore Nahj al-Balagha passages as alternative narratives
Step 5: Work Through Theological Distortions
When punitive God images emerge, work therapeutically (not theologically). Help clients differentiate their felt experience of God from theological teaching about divine attributes.
For Clinicians: Competencies and Boundaries
This integration work requires clarity about role and scope.
You Are Not:
- A religious authority
- Responsible for teaching Islamic theology
- Equipped to declare what is or is not "correct" Islam
- Imposing spiritual interventions on clients who do not want them
You Are:
- Creating space for clients to explore their existing faith resources
- Recognizing that spirituality is central to many Muslim clients' identity
- Using evidence-based frameworks to understand spiritual dynamics
- Collaborating with religious leaders when appropriate
- Maintaining clinical judgment about when spiritual integration helps vs. harms
Frequently Asked Questions
Research suggests it can play a significant compensating role. Wongratanamajcha et al. (2025) found that attachment to God fully mediated the relationship between insecure human attachment and meaning in life. The combination of clinical attachment work and strengthening attachment to Allah (SWT) may be more effective than either alone.
This approach recognizes that for believing Muslims, their relationship with Allah (SWT) is a real relationship with real psychological effects. Strengthening this relationship through informed practices—not just "praying more" but developing a more secure attachment style in that relationship—complements clinical treatment.
This is a clinical issue to work through, not a reason to avoid spiritual integration. Punitive God images often reflect projections of early caregiver experiences. Careful therapeutic exploration can help clients differentiate their felt experience from theological reality.
Yes. The key is cultural humility: learning enough to be helpful, knowing the limits of one's knowledge, and consulting with or referring to Muslim mental health professionals when appropriate.
The Restoration: Returning to the Original Bond
"Am I not your Lord?" They said, "Yes, we have testified." — Qur'an 7:172
The Qur'an teaches that every soul was created in relationship with Allah (SWT). From this perspective, attachment to Allah (SWT) is not something new to be built but something original to be restored.
Human attachment wounds are real. They shape our nervous systems, our expectations, our capacity to trust. Secular attachment therapy offers genuine healing: new relational experiences that gradually reshape internal working models.
Yet for the believing Muslim, something more is possible. The relationship that secular therapy cannot provide—an Attachment Figure who is omnipresent, omniscient, and eternally faithful—is not a fantasy but a theological reality awaiting rediscovery.
This is the restoration: not merely symptom reduction, but return to the original bond. Not merely earned security with human others, but remembered security with the One who never forgets.
Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ali Muhammad.
Ready to Begin Your Journey?
Take the first step toward healing with faith-integrated psychotherapy.
Book a SessionReferences
Ellison, C.G., et al. (2014). Prayer, attachment to God, and symptoms of anxiety-related disorders. Sociology of Religion, 75(2), 208-233.
Ghobary Bonab, B., et al. (2013). Attachment to God in Islamic Spirituality. Journal of Muslim Mental Health.
Haverkamp, E., et al. (2025). The convergent neuroscience of Christian prayer and attachment relationships. Frontiers in Psychology.
Homan, K.J. (2014). A mediation model linking attachment to God, self-compassion, and mental health. Mental Health, Religion & Culture.
Wongratanamajcha, S., et al. (2025). Role of adult attachment and spiritual attachment on meaning in life. Narra Journal.